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|Can I Get a Witness?||Someone to Watch Over Me (Part 1)|
PLEASE NOTE: The syndicated/DVD version of the episode "We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert," omits ALF's explanation of the Melmacian funeral custom of celebrating a person's life at their memorial. Tragically, without this incredibly important piece of information, ALF's motives for throwing the party at Uncle Albert's untimely death seem extremely self-centered and ghoulish.
The episode begins with Willie coming home and giving a present to Brian and ALF. The present turns out to be a tent and Willie tells ALF that he will need to stay in it for the next few days while Willie's uncle Albert (portrayed by Elisha Cook, Jr.), stays with the Tanners. Kate and Brian react badly to the news with Kate asking why uncle Albert has to visit when he doesn't even like it at the Tanners.
Willie and ALF are in the backyard. Willie is making the tent while ALF complains about having to stay in the backyard during Uncle Alberts' visit. ALF attempts to help Willie, but unintentionally keeps undoing all of Willies' work, eats the box of wing nuts, thinking it was a box of walnuts, and also ate a box of tent stakes, mistaking them for steaks. Willie asks ALF to let him make the tent by himself when Kate comes out to the backyard and tells Willie that Albert just called wanting to know Willie's shoe size and Kates' dress size. They ponder over whether the bad relative would actually do a nice gesture like buy them gifts, something uncharacteristic. During this time ALF replies that Albert sounds like a "real monkeys' uncle", to which Willie replies that ALF is right and starts to do an unflattering impression of Uncle Albert.
Later, in the Tanners kitchen Brian is collecting large amounts of food while ALF reads off a food checklist. Lynn comes into the kitchen asking what's going on, ALF explains to her that he's stacking up on food for his time "in the big house" (referring to his forced stay in the tent). Lynn says it will only be for two days and ALF says that's why he didn't pack his toothbrush. In the living room, Willie and Kate return home with Uncle Albert and yell their arrival to signal ALF to get into the tent. ALF angrily leaves the kitchen. In the living room Uncle Albert gives gifts to Kate and Willie: for her a dress and for Willie a pair of shoes. Uncle Albert then proceeds to give Brian an Angels baseball cap, to which Brian shrugs and replies "How much?", Albert enthusiastically replies that it's free. Brian happily accepts the gift saying that he's going to go show it to ALF, but cuts himself off before accidentally mentioning him to Uncle Albert. Uncle Albert gives Lynn a purse from Gucci's. Like the rest of the family Lynn replies in surprise. Uncle Albert then offers to take the Tanners out for dinner. The next morning Willie and Kate confront Uncle Albert about his sudden unexpected acts of kindness. Uncle Albert explains to Willie and Kate that he had a heart attack at an undisclosed time in the past. He says he stayed in the hospital for a month and received no visitors, phone calls, or "get well" letters. He realized that he had to change his ways and make up for his bad past, and visiting the Tanners was part of his path to make amends. Willie and Kate react positively to this and Uncle Albert volunteers to make dinner while Willie goes to work and Kate goes out. Later, while making dinner Uncle Albert hears a television coming outside from the tent. He goes out to investigate and stumbles across ALF watching television. ALF surprised asks "care for a cookie?" Uncle Albert drops dead then due to the shock of seeing ALF.
Willie gets a call at work from ALF. ALF complains that he wants canned peaches. Willie asks why he needs canned peaches. ALF replies that Uncle Albert is dead and he needs peaches to start the embalming process. Later, Kate gets home and sees ALF in the living room with celebration balloons and a birthday hat. Kate asks what's going on and ALF replies that he's celebrating Uncle Albert's leaving. Just then, Willie gets home and looks distraught. ALF explains to Willie and Kate what had happened. There is a discussion as to whether this is a happy or sad occasion, as on Melmac, death is celebrated as a completion of life. During the conversation ALF realizes that Uncle Albert died because of him and guilt sets in. Later, Willie and Kate are getting ready to go to Uncle Alberts funeral. Willie, Kate, and Lynn talk about ALF's depressed mood lately over uncle Albert's death. ALF said his looks were lethal and that he should have a permit for his face. Lynn tells Willie and Kate that she'll talk to him. Willie and Kate leave for the funeral and Lynn goes into the backyard to find ALF in a box with the words "danger", "beware", "caution!!", and "do not look inside!" written all over it. Lynn brings out banana bread for ALF and asks him to come out of the box. With much hesitation ALF complies and comes out of the box, but reveals that he has a bag on his head to disallow others to see him. Lynn takes the bag off to find a second bag underneath the first. She takes off the second bag and they begin to talk about death. Lynn asks Alf what death is like on Melmac. ALF replies that death on Melmac is very predictable. Everyone dies at the same age, 650. ALF says that knowing when he'll die is a constant assurance. ALF feels bad that Uncle Albert didn't have time to make amends for his bad past due to his early death. Lynn corrects him saying that Uncle Albert was able to make up for his bad past and explained to ALF that that was the whole purpose for Uncle Albert's visit to the Tanners. This reliefs ALF and he asks Lynn to leave the banana bread with him.
Later that night, Willie finds ALF in the backyard and is relieved to see that he is feeling better. Willie explains that he is glad Uncle Albert made an amends and that he actually felt happy for Uncle Albert. The episode ends with Willie and ALF looking up at the stars and talking about the vastness of space.
- ALF: Since Uncle Albert is such a pain, why don't you just tell the guy to bug off?
- Willie: Oh, I can't do that ALF he's family.
- ALF: Fine. Now you're stuck with an unwanted house guest.
- Willie: Isn't it strange how that pattern keeps repeating itself?
- ALF: Why? Kates' mother is coming too?
- Uncle Albert finds ALF in the backyard tent watching television
- ALF: Care for a cookie?
- Uncle Albert passes out and dies from the shock of seeing ALF
- ALF: Alright, after your nap.
- Note: This episode is rated TV-PG.
"We're So Sorry Uncle Albert" a line from the song "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" by Paul and Linda McCartney.